Dear parent, have you heard of “dogmatic parenting” before? Well, this is an unhealthy parenting style described as “a harsh and inflexible discipline, with children not allowed, within reason, to dissent, question authority, or develop their own value system.”

In relation to Islamic parenting, it refers to imposing Islamic practices on a child without explaining the reason for doing so. The children of such parents are never allowed to disagree, have a different opinion, or question something in order to understand it better.

This is contrary to the teachings in Islam; as the main purpose of Islamic parenting is educating a child to understand and live by the teachings of the Qur’an and Sunnah, and not just to teach them certain acts which they practice because they had no other choice than to do so.

We find that in our society, if a child tries asking why she is wearing the Hijab, or the point of praying the 5 daily prayers, the parents immediately get angry at the child or even start hitting him/her for asking such “grave questions”!

Questioning is actually a crucial need for children, and thus parents should be ready to answer their childrens questions in a way that suits their age and understanding. Parents need to actually explain to a child why we are doing what we do as Muslims... which is acting in obedience to Allah and seeking his reward and Paradise. Even the companions asked the Prophet (PBUH) on many occasions:

“They ask you, [O Muhammad], what they should spend…” (Baqarah: 215)

“They ask you about wine and gambling…” (Baqarah: 219)

Therefore, a child asking you for clarification is something commendable. Never shun a child away for asking you questions on Islam or questioning some practices of the religion. Rather, be happy he/she came to you first as you have the opportunity of giving the correct answers and explaining in a way that will have a positive effect on him forever.

Remember “Islam is a personal choice, and not a dogma to be inherited”